Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Rodney Pinkerton's Thoughts on....What the Hell is Trisodium Phosphate? And Why the Hell is it In My Cookie Crisp?

Rodney Pinkerton's Thoughts on.... is an editorial section from the mind of the annoying guy that has to tell me his retarded ideas and theories about the world while I take the bus to work. I have tried to take other buses to get away from him, but he waits for me now. Unless I walk the fifteen miles, I am stuck hearing them. So now are you, if you choose to read them.

I don't know who you are or what you want Trisodium Phosphate....but stay the eff out of my Cookie Crisp! You think you are so awesome because you got some cool name "Science" gave you! And you better have some goddamn good reason for being the 25th listed ingredient in my choice breakfast food! You probably think you're so great because you're listed before Vitamin B6 Pyridoxine Hydrochloride on the box, well you know what ass?..I would probably sleep with Vitamin B6 Pyridoxine Hydrochloride..but I wouldn't even look twice at you, you pompous jerk!

I swear to God, Trisodium Phosphate, you better hope I never extract you from all the other ingredients, because if I do, I am going to kick your molecular ass! Bring it, Mutha humper!

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