Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Ed "Money" Lee Wins Office "Wastebasket"ball Championship.

Ed "Money" Lee defeated reigning three-time champ Carlos "All Good" Lopez in a close match to win the Hubert Mortgage office Wastebasketball Championship. The game is played exactly like H-O-R-S-E, but each shot must entail use of a prop from the office. The official ball is an old Pinky ball found last year behind the copier.
Both men received their nicknames because of the phrase they shout as they attempt their shots.
The match took place on Monday, in the break room, while the boss had left for lunch. "Money" was a 4-1 underdog going into the match.
"All Good" took an early lead by hitting his famous "Hook, Line, and Sink-er" shot three straight times. This difficult shot is a hook shot that must be shot from a specific line on the floor and bounced off the sink into the basket three feet away. "Money" missed all three revenge attempts and was quickly at H-O-R. " That's exactly what I felt like, too. Used and abused for someone else's pleasure, namely Carlos', " Lee said explaining his morale at that point.
"Money" struck right back after a Carlos miss, sinking two unanswered "Long Snap" shots that had to be shot through your legs, like a center snapping a football to the punter, and bounced off the water cooler. "That's crap man, I didn't know we were using the water cooler. After Tomlinson knocked it down in last week's tournament, I thought it was out-of-bounds. I hadn't been practicing off it. This is bull*h*t!", fumed Carlos'. He was overruled by the referee and the shots stood making it now H-O to H-O-R, "All Good"'s lead.
Both men then traded letters. "Money" then tied it up at H-O-R-S, with a shot off an opened microwave door. With the 'ship on the line Lee had to think of a good shot.
"I decided to go blindfolded with a full cup of coffee balanced on my head.", said "Money".
This shot was attempted only once in regulation play by Adam "Kobe" Joseph and that attempt ended with the janitor going apeshit on the whole accounting department. "Money" grabbed his cup of French roast, closed his eyes and prayed. He screamed, "MONEY!", for all to hear and the shot fell. All his buddies began screaming and Ed knew he had done something great. The pressure was all on Carlos.
Carlos balanced his coffee, closed his eyes, and screamed' "ALL GOOD!", a second later the shot fell. Everyone went nuts. Carlos began screaming, "In yo' face! Ha! Ha!", but he spoke too early as he forgot about the coffee on his head. The coffee fell and Carlos was eliminated for not following through on his shot.
"This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me." exclaimed Ed, who apparently ranks this above his wedding day, and the birth of his child, " I can't believe I did it. WOOO! Yeah baby! Money baby! It's All BAD Carlos!"
Carlos had this to say about his game today, " I let people down today, Tony from payroll, Greg from accounting, that cute blonde "what's-her-name". I am sorry to my fan's."
The boss had this to say about today's matchup, " The janitor has informed me of the hijinx that occur while I am at lunch, due to another mishap involving both a cup of coffee and a wastebasket, all games will now result in a written notice for those involved."


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