Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Army Vet Still Has Flashbacks of Those He Lost During Wartime.

So many men lost their best friends while at war. Their names live on in our hearts. Fido, Rover, Mr. Hoover Butterscotch. All heros. All dogs. All dead. Veterinarian Dr. Gary Stump of the U.S. Army treated many of them. He still has horrible memories of the tragic events that happened to pets while their owners were away at war.
Dr. Stump has run the kennel at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri for the past 35 years. He and his staff watch over soldiers' pets while the soldiers are away on duty.
He has never actually went to war. We are not even sure if he is actually a veterinerian.
We interviewed Dr. Stump, and here is how that went.

DD: Well Dr. Stump tell us about some of the more tragic things you've witnessed with pets during wartime.
GS: First off, show me some goddamn respect and call me U.S. Army Veterinarian Dr. Gary Stump, JR III. Second off, The stuff I seen keeps playin in my head over and over.
DD: You are the third Jr. in your family, Wouldn't that make you the IV?
USAVDGS, Jr. III: You think your pretty funny don't you? Let me tell you something Beanley. While you were out smoking weed, thowin peace parties with your hippie friends during 'Nam, I was elbow deep in Poodle and Shitzu intestines, man. I think about it everyday. All those poor dogs I lost. I seen some sh*t! Seen some sh*t that if you ever looked at, you wouldn't even see it.
DD: That last sentence did not make any sense, U.S. Army Veterinarian Dr. Gary Stump, JR III. Also, I was born in 1978. I didn't even know about Vietnam until I saw Platoon.
USAVDGS, Jr. III: You know what doesn't make sense? Innocent dogs being left alone to die while their owners go over to fight some war. I've seen it a thousand times. The soldier just leaves one of those baby pools full of dog food in the living room for their dogs; and hope it lasts the six months they're away. Then we go into to the soldier's house to investigate a foul smell and we find a dead pooch drowned in a baby pool of wet dog food! I keep tellin them if they are going to do that...USE THE DRY FOOD FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
DD: Well this has been a nice afternoon, and really, thank you for your time U.S. Army veterinarian Dr. Gary Stump, JR III.
USAVDGS, Jr. III: You trying to get rid of me Beanley?
DD: Get rid of you? No..no..leave before you before you show me your crazy side? Well..yes.
USAVDGS, Jr. III: I'll show you crazy..Get over here Beanley..[loud sirens blare]
Nurse: U.S. Army Veterinarian Dr. Gary Stump, JR III., we've got a code 7. A yellow Lab just swallowed a small toy.
USAVDGS, Jr. III: I'll deal with you later Beanley.
DD: Okay, I will wait right here for you.

I ran straight out of that insane man's office and headed home. Needless to say he's been affected by the horrors of leaving your pet alone during wartime.

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