Monday, August 08, 2005

Burt Beanley Can't Get Song Out of His Head

Burt Beanley, editor-in-chief of Dump Digest, repeatedly tried and failed to get the Gwen Stefani hit Hollaback Girl out of his head on Saturday.
He first heard the song Saturday morning on the radio and casually began humming, unaware of the hell it would put his mind through for the next 19 hours. For the next hour he continuously repeated the phrase "Cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl".

He finally got it out of his head for nearly three hours. But with all catchy songs, just the slightest reference to any part of the song will make it pop back into your head. So when Burt visited his local fruit stand that afternoon and noticed some plantains he broke into "Let me hear you say, this sh*t is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S". This episode lasted another two hours.

The song remained out of his thoughts for quite sometime after that. Around 11:30pm, Burt needed some tampons for his girlfriend so he headed out to the All-Nite Quik Stop (which is only open until 1:30am by the way, LIARS!). When he entered the store he headed to the tampon aisle and there he encountered an old woman. An old woman who just happened to be humming the tune that had been tormenting him all day. Burt then began humming and the two began a duet that lasted a good 5 minutes, complete with a dance they created on the spot to accompany the part:

So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust.

(Somehow Dump Digest doubts that scrawny Gwen is scaring anyone with those words. She needs some sun by the way. She doesn't look well.)

Burt continued singing the song in bed and did not fall asleep until 3am that night. He finally rid his brain of the song until Sunday night when we asked him for a quote about his experience.

It's crazy because I don't even like that stupid goddamn song, but I just couldn't help myself, it's so damn catchy, 'This my sh*t, This my sh*t '. Great! Now it's in my head again. Thanks a lot a**hole!", said Beanley describing his hatred for the song and me.


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