Thursday, August 11, 2005

Ugly Six Year Old Has Nightmares of Turning Into Giant Butterfly.

Sleep has not been good for six year old Kimberley Piwacket lately. The odd looking child has been afraid of turning into a giant butterfly since her father tried to make her feel better about her looks by telling her one day she would blossom into one.
"She really thinks she is going to turn into an actual butterfly. I was just trying to let her know she is going to be pretty one day," explained Kimberley's father Francis Piwacket. "I really don't think she is going to be pretty, but she doesn't have to know that. I was just trying to make her feel better and have her believe she would be. Now she goes around all day asking people if her wings are starting to grow on her back. Just to shut her up I had to tell her the wings don't start to grow until you're twelve."
"I don't want to be a butterfly, I wanna be a person, " cried Kimberley. " I wanna be a doctor when I grows up, but Tammy down the street said they don't let butterflies be doctors. Her brother Josh said I am going to have to live in a cartoon to become one. If I do I hope it's Dora the Explorer. Hola Dora. Me llamo Kimberley."
Kimberley's mother has advised her husband to leave the comforting of the children to her. "We had a similar incident when Kimberley's brother Danny was five. Francis told a nervous Danny to 'break a leg' right before he went on stage as a Wise Man in the church's Christmas Pageant. Danny proceeded to whack the "Virgin Mary" in her knee with his walking staff. Francis just doesn't get that kids don't always understand figurative language. He also doesn't get that his kids seem to be dumber than most kids."


At 10:06 AM, Anonymous Kimberley said...


How dare you share something so profoundly personal to me?! By the way, I still haven't grown wings---And I am 30!! Oh, and by the way, Danny thought our parents found him in the Cracker Jacks box.



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