Monday, December 12, 2005

Narnia Kids Beat the Crap Outta Harry Potter Over Weekend. Narnia Wins at Box Office Also.

What a weekend it was for nerds. A weekend full of drama, excitement and taking sides. Nerds across America were forced to decide which fake world they would rather believe in. Would it be Narnia, or would it be where ever the hell Harry Potter is from. In an epic battle that included wizardry, talking animals, magical dressers, and a bunch of ugly child actors; it was Narnia which claimed the spot in the hearts of Gen-X'ers still living in the sixth grade.

Raking in well over 60 million, Narnia proved that a little boy with extremely thick eyebrows was no match for a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe. Based on the C.S. Lewis book I was forced to read in the sixth grade, Narnia follows three youngsters through a magical world where they must help the people overcome a fierce dictator and restore the poor people of the land to power. Think the Iraq War, but with mind of a child leading the battle, forgive me, just think the Iraq War.

While I was at the movies to watch Rent for the 13th time, I decided to ask those from both sides why their choice was better.

" Harry Potter is way better. He lives in a mystical world where kids have power and use innocence to overcome the corrupted minds of older villains. Narnia is completely fake, that stuff couldn't really happen; but Harry's magic. That is real my friend," said Scott Thompson, 32, of Lake Grove California, who happened to be wearing a black cloak, round glasses, and Harry Potter Underoos over his jeans.

" Potter Sucks. He should go suck Argus Filch and all the other gay characters. I can't believe I actually used to believe in that Potter crap. Talking animals and a magical portal in an armoire, that's why Narnia is so great and believable. Narnia is a great, mystical world where kids have power and use innocence to overcome the corrupted minds of older villains, " explained Sarah Bloomquist, 27, also of Lake Grove, California.

Based on the looks of the filmgoers and there long drawn out synopsises? ...synopsi? ..synopsiseses? ...descriptions! of the two movies, I believe them to be the same movie. I however have grown up and no longer live in the past. I would rather just watch a good comedy like Starsky and Hutch or The Dukes of Hazard.


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