Tuesday, October 18, 2005

P & G Introduces New Detergent That Kills Child Sweatshop Germs.

(Our germs are in your clothes! YUK!)

Many people put on their brand new clothes without realizing the hidden dangers within the fabric. Deep within lie the germs of child sweatshop workers from China to Latin America. While not harmful, child sweatshop germs do leave the stench of horrid human rights violations.

For those who do not wish to walk around wearing the remnants of unethical business practices, Proctor and Gamble introduced their new brand of laundry detergent, Morally Fresh, on Monday. It's guaranteed to kill 100% of child labor germs and make you feel good about wearing clothes made in incomprehensibly tragic ways.

P & G scientists have worked for three years developing a product strong enough to battle the undetectable markings of tired, brittle, pre-adolescent hands. Many formulas were tried, but it wasn't until a scientist accidentally mixed TIDE with a bottle of "Walmart bargain shopper" essence, that a breakthrough was made.

" We found that when people find a bargain, let's say jeans for $10.99, they were likely to overlook the fact that a child had made them." said lead P & G scientist Walter Shabe. “That was the special ingredient that we were looking for in making our detergent. Once added, we saw that under a microscope these germs of child labor were actually disappearing."

Morally Fresh comes in two great scents, Ethically Clean and Look-the-other-way Lemon.

2 Comments:

At 9:29 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Look the other way lemon. Man, your too funny. Crack me up.

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger Humour and last laugh said...

great blog!

 

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