Fak* N*ws Sit* Los*s K*yboard Button.

Missing sinc* 1.9.2006
Things w*nt crazy at the Dump Dig*st offic* on Monday night wh*n som* j*rk stol* th* * button from th* offic*'s lon* k*yboard. It could not com* at a worst tim* than two minut*s b*for* Burt b*gan typing a story about *l*m*ntary *ducation in *x*t*r, *ngland.

Burt is not blaming anyon*, but h* do*s b*li*v* th* p*rson r*sponsibl* has th* nam* that ryhm*s with D**n Shimsdal*. I, I m*an Burt, is not mad; I--h* just wants th* fr*akin button back so I...okay this is Burt...Giv* m* back th* godamn k*y Sh**n, you asshol*. This pr*ssing shift crap *v*ry tim* I writ* an * (that last * was r*ally an * not an *, sorry to confus*) is giving m* an *ffin cramp. I want that button back on th* k*yboard by tonit* or I am calling th* cops.