Friday, April 27, 2007

Our Favorite W. Cares About the Interests of all 52 States.


In a recent interview with our incredibly astute leader, Dump Digest's newest reporter Mitchell Goosen sat down with the president to see how he feels about domestic issues.

MG:
Thank you for joining us Mr. President.
W: You're welcome Mitch.

MG: Mr. President, most questions asked to you of recent years have been directed at Iraq or other foreign issues such as global terrorism and North Korea. I wanted to know what you thought were the most vital domestic issues we face here in our own country.
W: That's a good question Mitch. There are lot's of problems we face everyday in this country and not just in the real states like California, New York, and Texas. They are faced in all 52 states, even those ones no one pays attention to like Wyoming. There are education problems, unemployment, and healthcare. And then there are serious issues also, like paparazzi hounding celebs; I mean come on USWeekly, leave that Lohan girl alone. It's enough already, Mitch. It's enough!

MG: Now that just opens up many questions I really didn't prepare or ever imagined I would have to prepare. First, Mr. President, you are aware their are only 50 states, aren't you?
W: 50? (chuckles). Common mistake, Mitch. Everyone gets that one wrong sometimes. See a lot of people forget West Dakota and now we got Iraq also. So that's 52, Goose.

MG: You are aware that Iraq is not a state, that we are just aiding their transition to democracy? Please don't call me Goose, either.
W: Really smart guy? Then tell me this. If they are not a state...Then why, are we giving them billions of dollars like we do other states? I think I got you there, Goose!

MG: It is not a state though...you know what?...forget Iraq, let's stick domestically. There is no West Dakota, Mr President. So even by your insane count that's only 51.
W: Really, Goose? (sarcarstically) Then what's west of North Dakota, then?
MG: That would be Montana, Mr. President.
W: Please Goose, call me Maverick.
MG: I don't think I will.
W: Come on killjoy. (slaps my shoulder) It'll be like Top Gun. It'll be fun.
MG: Not really, Mr. President.
W: Maverick.
MG: Okay...Fine (frustrated)... Maverick, do you feel there is a need for drastic changes to our nation's health care situation?
W: Yes I do.
MG: Do you care to elaborate?
W: No I don't.
MG: Didn't think so.

MG: Maverick, do you feel the need for a complete overhaul of our nation's schools with classroom material that would better assimilate our children into the borderless economy of today.
W: I am not going to lie to you, Goose. I was not listening to a word you were saying. I was busy thinking about making love to Kelly McGillis on my chopper.
MG:I was asking if you felt the need for a complete overhaul of our nation's schools with classroom material that would better assimilate our children into the borderless economy of today.

W:
I tell you what I feel the need for, Goose. I feel the need!....c'mon, say it with me Goose...The need for speed!
MG: (i flip out) That's it! Interview's over, F#ck this Sh*t, I'm done! (I walk away)
W: Ah, Goose. C'mon I was just playing...Goose! GOOSE!!!!NO!!!!!!

8 Comments:

At 7:35 PM, Anonymous Kat said...

Hey Bush.... You STINK! You really have not lost that lovin' feeling Burt. Glad you're back Brotha.

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger Jay Cam said...

lol i liked the end..."serious i was not listening to you"
lol

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger Jay Cam said...

Care to trade links with my humor blog? My site is http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com

If would like to trade, post my link, then comment or email me and I will post yours on my site as a permanent link. Send what you want to your link to be called and your link please.
I would appreciate the linkage, Thanks!

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger Aunt Bloggie said...

Dear Dump,

You know, you turn that W over and sure enough, it stands for Maverick! There has never been any doubt in my mind that "Our Favorite" cares about all 52 states. Its those other pesky states he doesn't care for. "State of the Economy" "State of the Union" State of Iraq" Oh forgot... Iraq is already a state. Well point being, ıts time for old Maverick to do a Rockford, and head west. Then what state will we be in?

Sincerely
Aunt Bloggie

 
At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Sixth T. Nonsense said...

That's hilarious. I don't think harassing that old hilly billy will ever get old.

The Sixth Nonsense

 
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At 5:59 AM, Blogger 天氣晴朗 said...

令人心動的好文章~~.........................

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger 微笑每一天 said...

Better say nothing than nothing to the purpose. ........................................

 

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