Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Big F-YOU!

(Who eats D.O.T.S?)
We all need to vent sometimes, but Scott Carter (DD's society editor), needs to vent more than all of us. Dump Digest will now feature Scott's frustration in our new editorial-- The Big F-YOU!

Here's The Big F-YOU! to the vending machine guy at my work. Not only do you show up when you feel like it, to replace the stale food you put in the machine, but you fill it with the most asinine products. Is there a mountain in my building I don't know about? Cause you got 3 effin rows of trail mix, assmuncher? Fill that bitch with some Ho Ho's, or some Chocolate Juniors.

Also, I was not included in the survey you apparently gave out where everyone voted for a row of Chuckles. There's something about feeling my teeth rot as I'm eating those things that makes them that much less appetizing.

I have a solution to this problem, though. I'm sure you're familiar with the "“How's My Driving" bumper stickers on the back of delivery trucks. I propose a "“How's My Vending Filling Abilities" number be placed on machines across the land. That way, I can call and express my discontent with the products YOU have chosen for ME! I've got enough stress to deal with here, and I don't need the added frustration of not being able to get what I want from your "Diabetes Box".

Shape up, vending boy, or your precious machine will end up smashed to pieces in the work parking lot... As soon as I can find a forklift to get that bitch out of the building.

(Written by Scott Carter, DD Society Editor)


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