Friday, September 09, 2005

Couple has Triplets

After 1 miscarriage and many more failed attempts at getting pregnant, Jay and Kay Spelling of Wind Gap, PA, are the proud new parents of triplets. The 3 girls each weighed in at 3 lb, 3 oz. and were healthy enough to spend their first night together in the nursery.

“Amazingly, my s-s-sperm seem to st-st-stop and go j-j-just like my sp-sp-speech,” said the proud father. “We n-n-never stopped believing. I’m s-s-so happy,” added Mrs. Spelling. The Spellings are known around town as “Sputter” and “Mutter” because they both suffer from stuttering.

Due to their affliction, naming the girls was actually quite easy. ”Since tech-tech-technically they are our sec-sec-second, th-th-third and fourth babies, and because of our-our-our speech imped-ped-pediment, their names are Bebe, Cece, and Dede. That should w-w-work,” said Jay at this afternoon’s press conference.

This isn’t the first time the Spelling’s have been in the media spotlight. In 1995, they were co-valedictorians of their senior class. They had to stave off 3 lawsuits trying to stop them from giving their speeches. The successfully fended off the suits and presented their speeches; each speech lasting at least an hour. Then in 2000, Kay won the opportunity to sing the National Anthem at a Reading Phillies game. After much protest, Kay’s rendition made Roseanne Barr’s crotch-grabbing version seem like opera.

It is too early to tell if the triplets will stutter, or resent their parents, but this much is true: They will be told to death how much they’re l-l-loved.

Reported and Written by Special Guest Reporter Sheen Dimsdale


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