Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Jealous Christians Look to Accessorize Like Other Religions

Muslim women wear hijabs, Jewish men wear yarmulkes, and Sikh men wear turbans. All religions have headwear that symbolize their faith, all but the Christians. Well not anymore. That's thanks to John and Eileen Bohan. Unlike other Christians who have been stuck in a religous style rut for centuries, John and Eileen have brought Christians up to par in the faith-based hat world. They have designed a new headwear called the Jesus Beanie.

There is no better way to represent your Lord and Savior like a rainbow beanie with a crucifix propeller.

"For centuries we Christians have just looked silly when compared to other religions. We looked stupid with our bare heads. Now with the Jesus Beanie we no longer need to literally bow our heads shamefully," slurred a noticebly excited and noticebly intoxicated John Bohan.

"And on the 2,361,873,502,746,923,471,268,469 day God made Jesus Beanies ," proclaimed Rev. James Viviano of the First, Second, and Third Evangelical Church of Ellsworth, MN, "and so hath thy head been covered in the name of Our Father, Jesus Christ, amen."

Jesus Beanies have inspired people of other faiths to take another look at Christianity.

"I turned my back on Christianity because being a Christian meant being against homosexuality. I now know that is no longer true; because those Christians sure look real gay in those retarded-ass beanies. Is that a crucifix on top?" said 17 yr. old athiest Daniel McRancey.

All of the Jesus Beanies have been purchased in the so-called Red States. Mainly because these Christians buy into almost anything that is done in the name of God. (ie. KKK, George W. Bush, Pat Robertson)


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