Friday, February 17, 2006

Alito's In ; Planned Parenthood Has 2 for 1 Clearance.

Due to Samuel Alito's appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court, Planned Parenthood (PP) has started planning for the future. They unvieled their new slogan for abortion procedures on Wednesday. "Get 'Em While Their Legal" is the new slogan enticing woman to hurry up and get an abortion before they will have to wait to pick up their dry cleaning to get one. Accompanying the slogan, PP has announced a 2 for 1 clearance on all abortions.

"If you've always wanted an abortion, but haven't gotten around to it yet, now is the time. Go out and have promiscuous sex with random hot guys now, because you might be stuck with an eight pound crying machine in about two years or less, " said Kate Mayo, a PP spokesperson. "As for the poor teenagers stuck in that vicious cycle of lower class circumstances, let's just hope you get lucky and get taken advantage of by some older guy in time to get a legal abortion. Once they are gone, that cycle is going to go full circle a lot quicker."

Hagg said that the 2 for 1 deal is valid only on abortions of equal or less trimester. It is not transferable and free abortion must be used within 60 days.


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