Saturday, July 15, 2006

Shannen Doherty Already in Spat with Co-host O'Donnell. 2 Months Before They Meet.

It's just under two months before Shannen Doherty and Rosie O'Donnell start as co-hosts on ABC's The View, but that hasn't stopped Doherty from already causing tension on the set between her and her future colleague.

A show insider has informed DD that the mood on the set has been glim since last week when Doherty, who has not actually been to the set, was rumored to have said about O'Donnell, "I can't work with that bitch anymore. I am the star people wanna see, but yet all I hear around the set I've never been to is "Ms. O'Donnell this' and 'Ms. O'Donnell that'. Meanwhile, I hear that a soundguy called me Shannen. Can you believe that. Shannen! How dare he call me by my name!"

O'Donnell had this reply to Doherty's comments, "Whatever Brenda! Why don't you act like I am that guy you met in Paris, you can pretend to be French and French Kiss my fat ass."

The two both say they plan to start the season on time and without incident, and both agree they contribute to the long standing The View tradition of making men's ears bleed.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Big F-YOU!

(Who eats D.O.T.S?)
We all need to vent sometimes, but Scott Carter (DD's society editor), needs to vent more than all of us. Dump Digest will now feature Scott's frustration in our new editorial-- The Big F-YOU!

Here's The Big F-YOU! to the vending machine guy at my work. Not only do you show up when you feel like it, to replace the stale food you put in the machine, but you fill it with the most asinine products. Is there a mountain in my building I don't know about? Cause you got 3 effin rows of trail mix, assmuncher? Fill that bitch with some Ho Ho's, or some Chocolate Juniors.

Also, I was not included in the survey you apparently gave out where everyone voted for a row of Chuckles. There's something about feeling my teeth rot as I'm eating those things that makes them that much less appetizing.

I have a solution to this problem, though. I'm sure you're familiar with the "“How's My Driving" bumper stickers on the back of delivery trucks. I propose a "“How's My Vending Filling Abilities" number be placed on machines across the land. That way, I can call and express my discontent with the products YOU have chosen for ME! I've got enough stress to deal with here, and I don't need the added frustration of not being able to get what I want from your "Diabetes Box".

Shape up, vending boy, or your precious machine will end up smashed to pieces in the work parking lot... As soon as I can find a forklift to get that bitch out of the building.

(Written by Scott Carter, DD Society Editor)

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