Friday, February 24, 2006

Ukrainian Baby Just Misses Out on Figure Skating Medal.

(Always the showman,
Svetlana smiles as she
performs a triple axle)


Svetlana Putrushka, 1.9 years old, of the Ukraine skated a beautiful free skate but still fell short of a medal on Thursday. "Air" Svetlana, as she is known in the Ukraine, has been skating since the tender age of 1.1 years old; that is when the Ukraine's lone figure skater was injured and Svetlana was the only obvious choice to replace her.

Taken from her parents, the next eight months consisted on intense training to burn off all the babyfat, teach her to skate, and make her an Olympic darling.

"When I first receive Svetlana....she was soft...tender, almost like baby. I was saying that I can no work with this. But once I saw her in her cute little outfit and skates, I just knew a star was born," said Nikoli Tolstoy, Svetlana's coach and trainer.

So began the journey of this tiny prodigy. It was hard to work in training sessions between her 3 daily naps and 10 hours of sleep a night. But when her cute little eyes were open, they were focused on gold.

"When she first fell, I say, 'Get Up!' You know? 'Get up, stop crying like little infant, you are an Olympian, act like one!' I was harsh on her, but it was because I care. I knew she was not trying hard enough, it was almost like she did not want to be there. It wasn't until she first hit a double axle that she started to taking to it. The joy she felt, she kept wanting to feel. You know, then it was no more diaper changing every hour, no more 'WAH! Baba!' you know, asking for bottle. None. All she want now was skate.," added Tolstoy.

Then came Turino. And shine Svetlana did. She hit all of her jumps and ran a flawless routine. But the degree of difficulty hurt her and she had to settle for 24th place.

"We are excited about future. She is still young you know. She still maybe have six..seven Olympics left in her. We just practice harder and come back in 2010 for gold," said Tolstoy.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Alito's In ; Planned Parenthood Has 2 for 1 Clearance.

Due to Samuel Alito's appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court, Planned Parenthood (PP) has started planning for the future. They unvieled their new slogan for abortion procedures on Wednesday. "Get 'Em While Their Legal" is the new slogan enticing woman to hurry up and get an abortion before they will have to wait to pick up their dry cleaning to get one. Accompanying the slogan, PP has announced a 2 for 1 clearance on all abortions.

"If you've always wanted an abortion, but haven't gotten around to it yet, now is the time. Go out and have promiscuous sex with random hot guys now, because you might be stuck with an eight pound crying machine in about two years or less, " said Kate Mayo, a PP spokesperson. "As for the poor teenagers stuck in that vicious cycle of lower class circumstances, let's just hope you get lucky and get taken advantage of by some older guy in time to get a legal abortion. Once they are gone, that cycle is going to go full circle a lot quicker."

Hagg said that the 2 for 1 deal is valid only on abortions of equal or less trimester. It is not transferable and free abortion must be used within 60 days.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

DD Top Five Funniest Movies

5. Silver Streak: (Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder)
George Caldwell: I can't pass for black.
Grover Muldoon: Who you tellin'?I didn't say I was gonna make you black. I said I was gonna get you on the train. Now we got to make them cops think you're black.
[rubs shoe polish on George's face]
George Caldwell: It'll never work. Never.
Grover Muldoon: What, you afraid it won't come off?

4. Coming to America: (Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall)
Clarence: Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.

3. National Lampoon's Vacation : (Chevy Chase)
Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint.
Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash?
Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need?
Cousin Eddie: About fifty-two thousand dollars.

2. Blazing Saddles: (Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little)
[Bart and Jim are wearing KKK outfits to infiltrate the enemy's lynch mob]
Jim: [spotting Bart's black hands] How many times have I told you to wash your hands after a weekly cross burning?
[Taggart whips off Bart's hood]
Bart: For my next impression, Jesse Owens.

1. Dumb and Dumber: (Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels)
Lloyd: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing.
Lloyd: That John Denver is full of shit, man.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Michael Benson Tops Noms for Extra's Academy Awards with 5 Nods.

Lisa Gelaso in Crash (white shirt, background)

On March 31, 2006, the Hometown Buffet in Burbank, Ca will host the 25 Annual Extra's Academy Awards. The ten-hour annual awards ceremony recognizes excellence in blending into the background of motion pictures. Michael Benson leads all nominees with 15 nominations including Best Extra on a Cell Phone, Best Male Eating Dinner at an Adjacent Table, Best Extra Getting into Cab right before Starring Actor at Terminal, Best Henchman Guarding Compound, and Best Irritated customer (non-speaking). Benson has appeared in 27 movies this year.

"To be recognized for doing the job of not being recognized is truly wonderful. It is a testament to my talent that I was so forgettable, " said Benson.

Lisa Gelaso is the top female nominee garnering 14 nods. Including 3 for her role as a lady in a chic restaurant in Elizabethtown. She is also nominated for Best Bystander Discussing Crime Scene to Neighbor for her role in Crash.

There are 143 categories in this year's awards including new categories Best Animated Extra and Best Extra Partially Cut from Shot. Tune into to extraaa.com for a live feed of the event to see if your favorite extra brings home a Golden Nobody statue.

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