Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Son's Messy Room is Mystery To All.

Matt Schnitzler is a 25 year old college student from Bristol, PA. His dad's a janitor. His mom's a housekeeper. Which begs the question many have wanted answered. Why is his room so messy?
"“Because I don't care!"” is Matt's answer. "“Hospital corners and turned downed sheets? That'’s their life, not mine. Besides, I don't have the time. I have much more important things to attend to. Like downloading music, watching the same movies over and over, and sleeping up to fourteen hours a day."
Fear is another reason for Matt's unwillingness to clean his trash-heap of a domicile." I don't know what's under that mess. Frankly, I'm scared. My favorite green shirt moved across the room by itself the other night," said Matt.
His mother Carol is worried about his health. "“There is mold growing in every bowl. I think that one was macaroni and cheese, which is odd because we haven't had it in the house for over four months."”
Amazingly, this disregard for his health and safety has garnered Matt some recognition. Locally famous photographer, Zeke, has had Matt pose naked with is enormous collection of Colt 45 40's and Mountain Dew cans. The entire work, entitled Fly on Pie”, is set to debut November 1, and run through Dec. 2, as part of the Environmental Diseases display at the Franklin Institute before moving to the McCarty Gallery in Chestnut Hill.

Reported and Written by Special Guest Reporter Sheen Dimsdale


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